Tiger Woods Screams ‘Fore!’ Prior To Ejaculating—We All Know It…

On the side of our blog you’ll see a truly revolutionary feature titled Browse For Shiz—accompanied by a Search button.  I’m pretty sure I just became the first person in history to actually use it and let me tell you something—it does work…I typed in Tiger’s name and found nothing, I couldn’t believe it…It’s time we broke our silence about this world-renowned doer of rampant intercourse…

He'll do ya sooner or later...

Tiger Woods, shaving strokes off his ego...

When the Woods scandal first broke like an old lady’s hip in a backyard wrestling tourney, I’d just had my tonsils removed.  The story was so funny to me, that it really assisted in my recovery over the next couple of weeks.  Anyone that has had their tonsils taken out as an adult can tell you that the first week after the operation is pretty damn painful.

Put it this way—take the worst sore throat you’ve ever had in your life, make it watch Titanic twice in a row and then kick it with a flaming, steel toed, acid-drenched Lugz boot.  Then make it watch Titanic again…

I must have gone down on a million popsicles that week—that’s a lot of frigid fellatio right there.  I knew I had a serious problem when I was searching around for a pair of balls to cup halfway through a pineapple freeze-pop…

Regardless, a friend of mine was recently golfing on a course called Juniper Hill in Northboro, Massachusetts when he wisely snapped the following picture…

*Call me paranoid, but something tells me that Tiger played the exact same hole about 5 minutes before my buddy rolled through…

Look closely---The towel on the ball-washer is reaching over to wipe off the tip!

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30 responses to “Tiger Woods Screams ‘Fore!’ Prior To Ejaculating—We All Know It…

  1. This explains why he’s been taking so many strokes lately.

  2. Woods ejaculated his way to a 71 today. Not bad.

  3. I’m the king of the world!
    Why is it that the Frozen Leo-sicle part of Titanic is the only scene I can stand (and in fact find completely hilarious)?! 🙂

  4. were they the cream filled popsicles? That would explain the white stains on all of your shirts

  5. “…take the worst sore throat you’ve ever had in your life, make it watch Titanic twice in a row and then kick it with a flaming, steel toed, acid-drenched Lugz boot.” –That is a pretty fucking serious statement right there!

    Golf is too much of a mental game for him to hope to compete at that level until this is way, way behind (like takes a gay lover behind, behind) him.

    • I completely agree with you on this one. Luckily the sport of golf has what’s called the Senior PGA Tour—so even if it takes Tiger decades to rectify his game—that’s OK, he’s got time…

      Thanks Scott 🙂

  6. hhahaha frigid fellation line had me laughing so hard cause i had this image in my head of you (as i imagine you) giving head to red popsicle hahha

  7. Hmmm . . . played it, or played with it? Strokers want to know these things. Anything that will reduce the strokes per game is serious knowledge and worth it’s weight in used balls, frozen or otherwise.

    What I particularly like about your site is the R rating, and how it explains it’s for immature people over 18. I’ve always thought when motion picture ratings pop up on screen, they should say the same thing. Like how can we smack our kids around for using the word, bullshit, then watch some freaking moron use the word, fuck, in the same sentence forty seven times?

    • “How dare you fucking swear ya little shit—you’re grounded!” Is that the message you’re referring to? 🙂

      I’m not sure if he just played it or just played with it—but judging from that large sand-trap (discharge) running down the left side of the green, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that someone gave it some special attention…

  8. Love it!…priceless. And by the way, I’m no Steve Lepine.

  9. thank god someone else’s dick is green. I was starting to worry.

  10. ” I was searching around for a pair of balls to cup halfway through”

    I was wondering how tonsils and golf came together in this post.

  11. frozen filletio = chilly willy

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