Jeff Miranda—This Man Just Admitted To Banging That Man (Snooki)

A big heart and and a bigger purse. Seen here wearing a Coach kiddy-pool...

Well fuck a duck and pull my pig-tails—Snooki found a taker…

People continue to amaze the amazement right out of my blue-chipper glutes.  Let’s have a big round of applause for Jeff Miranda, the dumbass that’s about to embark on a relationshit voyage with one of the most despicable alcoholic Hobbits I’ve ever seen with a fake tan—Mr. Snooki…

“The way the show depicts her and makes her seem is totally not her,” Miranda insists. “She honestly has one of the biggest hearts…She is really not how everybody thinks she is.” (sorcery)

Good point Jeff.  All of that actual video footage of Snooki acting like an asshole is so very misleading—it’s not like that was her in those videos of her.  Our mistake…I guess the producers of The Jersey Shore decided to deep-six all that footage of her feeding homeless cats and doing charity work for the blind…

Dear Jeff Miranda,

It’s my understanding that you’re a 24 year-old veteran of the war in Iraq.  I’d like to take this opportunity to offer my sincere thanks to you and your service.  As someone who has never served, I want you to know that I appreciate the Hell out of what you do—regardless of what my opinion is on any given War that our military happens to be fighting, it’s folks like you that are there to cover our collective American ass either way.  Again, thanks Jeff.

With this being said—What are you thinking fool? I’ve got a bear-trap in my basement somewhere if you’d like to borrow it—throw your genitals right in there and save yourself some fargin’ time.

As someone who has faced chemical weapons, car-bombs, AK-47s and the Iraqi Insurgency—Why come all the way home to New Jersey only to stick your cock in a bronze land-mine?

You went all the way to Baghdad my friend—but you may have found the weapon of mass-destruction on the Jersey shore…

Regardless,

~Ron-Yves Strouteau (aka-The Litigation)

Limerick For Jeff (Good Luck Man)

There once was a man in a war

When he got home he wanted some more

So he went down on Snooki

Got bit by her Wookie

Who then spit out his junk on the shore

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

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33 responses to “Jeff Miranda—This Man Just Admitted To Banging That Man (Snooki)

  1. Vodka and Ground Beef

    “The Litigation” – I love it.

    Snooki is terrifying. That last picture of her showing all her teeth will haunt me forever. She is a weapon of our mass destruction, and I will pray for this soldier.

  2. A formerly normal and patriotic guy, falling for a girl that looks like that, is the final proof for the depleted uranium disorder. Those GI’s are being poisoned out there. Get them out, before they develop an unhealthy interest in the local pets, and start to look for canine looking women to breed with when they get back.

  3. I grew up in Venice, CA, during the fifties and sixties, where weirdness was a second language. Venice beach was THE place back then, and more fun than anything I can remember.

    • Weirdness as a second language eh? Sounds look a good time 🙂 Did you hit up the outdoor gyms or what?

      • Only when the women were present. All the guys were gay. Some of the first “wrestling” matches took place there. Ping pong was big back then. I didn’t have an offensive game, but had a great defensive one. The Santa Monica champ liked to play me just for the way I defended against him. I think in the 100+ games we played, I beat him once. But, damn, it was fun.

  4. I wouldn’t even sexify her with MY dick.

  5. As a Iraqi war vet, even I wouldn’t jump on that grenade. I can understand if he just got off of ship after a long stay overseas and on ship. Ask any military man that has been on ship or overseas for more than 4 months. Every woman is (in my best “Billy Bob” voice from Varsity Blues)”A F***IN’ TEN!!!!!!”. After a few months of just dudes in confined space, a cantaloupe with a hole in it seemed very attractive

  6. Leave the poor Hobbits out of this.

  7. Ha! Oh, how I love Snookericks.

    Thanks to my undercover “Snooki” research, I recently found a group on Facebook called “What Would Snooki Do?”

    Trust me when I say that it’s provided me with hours (okay, minutes) of hilarity-ensuing entertainment.

  8. I’m not as horrified by these people as most. I grew up with the same type of personalities. So I could actually see how someone could like her. Especially when there is a spotlight and 15 minutes of fame to be grabbed.

  9. Nice limerick…. I am going to discontinue tan in a can after looking at that troll

  10. Maybe boyfriend can encourage Snooki to enlist…..imagine the friggin Taliban? They’d have a brain aneurysm seeing that glow of orange suddenly appear over a sand dune! Better still, tell them this is what their 150 virgins will look like!!!!

  11. Never actually seen that show, but oddly enough I seem to have acquired a somewhat impressive looking tan after reading this post. 🙂

  12. Pingback: Jeff Miranda—This Man Just Admitted To Banging That Man (Snooki) (via A Tightly Slacked Community) « Susi's Spice…a little spice in each bite!

  13. I love how you link to the picture of Wookie.

  14. omg El Rono…this has to be your best work yet, i was laughing my cute toushy off …. applause my love applause!

    i may even go so far as to ‘like’ this one! …dare i go so far as to reblog it!? …. perhaps…. maybe if you sex me up a bit and eat some of that blue shoe of yours that turns me on so much…if you show me the batman signal i may just orgasm right here right now…

    lol

    • haha—That’s fantastic, I’m happy that ye laughed 🙂 The shoes are being shined as we speak and you can look to the southern sky at the stroke of midnight for my Bat-chest symbol….

      Reblog? I’ve never been reblogged…This sounds like an honor—I want in on this…por favor?

      🙂

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