Well fuck a duck and pull my pig-tails—Snooki found a taker…
People continue to amaze the amazement right out of my blue-chipper glutes. Let’s have a big round of applause for Jeff Miranda, the dumbass that’s about to embark on a relationshit voyage with one of the most despicable alcoholic Hobbits I’ve ever seen with a fake tan—Mr. Snooki…
“The way the show depicts her and makes her seem is totally not her,” Miranda insists. “She honestly has one of the biggest hearts…She is really not how everybody thinks she is.” (sorcery)
Good point Jeff. All of that actual video footage of Snooki acting like an asshole is so very misleading—it’s not like that was her in those videos of her. Our mistake…I guess the producers of The Jersey Shore decided to deep-six all that footage of her feeding homeless cats and doing charity work for the blind…
Dear Jeff Miranda,
It’s my understanding that you’re a 24 year-old veteran of the war in Iraq. I’d like to take this opportunity to offer my sincere thanks to you and your service. As someone who has never served, I want you to know that I appreciate the Hell out of what you do—regardless of what my opinion is on any given War that our military happens to be fighting, it’s folks like you that are there to cover our collective American ass either way. Again, thanks Jeff.
With this being said—What are you thinking fool? I’ve got a bear-trap in my basement somewhere if you’d like to borrow it—throw your genitals right in there and save yourself some fargin’ time.
As someone who has faced chemical weapons, car-bombs, AK-47s and the Iraqi Insurgency—Why come all the way home to New Jersey only to stick your cock in a bronze land-mine?
You went all the way to Baghdad my friend—but you may have found the weapon of mass-destruction on the Jersey shore…
~Ron-Yves Strouteau (aka-The Litigation)
Limerick For Jeff (Good Luck Man)
There once was a man in a war
When he got home he wanted some more
So he went down on Snooki
Got bit by her Wookie
Who then spit out his junk on the shore