Casino Royale…

Hello to all.  The Dr. is back after a short but rectally invasive stay in a Red Chinese prison…So, shalom…

I’ve been reading a lot of articles here in the Northeastern U.S. about legalizing casino gambling.  State legislators are arguing back and forth about the pros and cons of allowing such activities to take place.  Whether you’re for casinos or against them, I believe that the following testimonial will prompt you to strongly support them…

Telly Savalas, he wipes his ass with your winning scratch tickets...

Have you ever been at a convenience store or gas station, probably in a rush to get to work or wherever, and you get stuck in line behind the degenerate lottery ass-hole?  You’ve seen him—He’s usually in his early sixties, slovenly dressed, and has a stack of lottery receipts and scratch tickets in his hands that’s about as thick as a real estate law-book.  Why in God’s name must this gentleman have to show up at the store when the rest of the functioning society has places to be?  All I’m trying to do is buy a Kit-Kat and a Yoo-Hoo!  and this douche holds up the line for a solid 8-10 minutes while the English challenged cashier from Pakistan is running all over the place.  As the line swells to a Department of Motor Vehicles-esque level, the town folk begin to get restless until our resident gambler has procures his new stack of lottery items.

So I say that it’s time to legalize casino gambling…Numbnuts is hedging all of his bets on the 5 dollar crossword puzzle scratch tickets when he should be at a casino playing craps like a fuckin’ man.  Risking 10 bucks on the Pick-3 just doesn’t have the same panache as losing double your net worth at the roulette table right before you get shanked by a hooker.

Build the casinos and let the games begin…

Published by Dr. Max Yestronaut

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18 responses to “Casino Royale…

  1. I, too, have had to experience the elder gentleman carrying a Samsonite double bag, loaded with lotto tickets, showing up at 6am and causing a backup equal to the current China road clog. So I’m with you all the way. Great post.

  2. Nice one Max…

    If you hit the weights and added 8-inches to your height and cock—you’d look quite Savalish yourself there skippy…hey, it’s something to consider…

    • That’s what I’ve reserved 2011 for ya prick. Max Yestronaut has a huge upside…Realistically, Savalas would let me marry his only daughter….

  3. Yes, build casinos, the more the merrier. Great place to dump gran, launder money and redistribute wealth.

  4. I want to BE a shirtless Telly Savalas someday.

    The sooner the better.

  5. I dont get this gambling at all.
    But you do have a valid point. lol.

  6. Great idea! Then we can go hold up casino guy’s line in order to purchase some smokes or a drink. Ooooh…sweet revenge. 😀

  7. Telly Savalas is a sexy man. Bet he’d look good in tight slacks

  8. aww Dr Max i dont you and I have had the fact you should be so lucky 😛 haha
    1. You guys dont have casinos?
    2. Why not just open up a “board game tea house” where people play “board games” for a small amount of indisclosed unlimited cash/credit/cheque and that way everyone wins!
    3. what is Yoo-Hoo? we have Yoo Hoo but its a glue stick..

    luv me

    • Dr. Max Yestronaut

      1. We don’t have casinos in NH because they’ll spoil our idyllic life-style. However, we do not have to wear seatbelts or motorcyle helmets because they’ll spoil our quest for brain damage.
      2. “Board game tea house” is a great idea. But I think that “Bordello in the Dr.’s house” would be more profitable.
      3. NO YOO-HOO!!! You poor and depraved soul! Yoo-hoo is a delicious chocolate-like beverage that is harvested from the mammary glands of flambouyant Swiss cattle. Delicious and neutral. It’s a good compliment to a sandwich.

  9. On a related note, Yoo Hoo is a terrific beverage and should be available in more locations. Actually, is Yoo Hoo illegal??

  10. On the bright side, you don’t have to wait for him to pay for his gas as well. Because he can’t afford a car.

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