Your Tight Weather Fork-Ass—Thank Us After The Storm…

Dust off the leather umbrella and slap some Turtle-Wax on your shit-kickers—Monday awaits…

*Note: We neglected to include any information pertaining to the barometric pressure in your hometown because, let’s face it—nobody gives a shit about the barometric pressure in your hometown…

The ADHD Chuck Norris Radar Run-Down: As you can see, ADHD Chuck Norris is still distracted by the Great Lakes, therefore he has yet to relay us any real information which relates to the radar images…We apologize for the inconvenience…

*Note: The stress of being located directly under Chuck’s lethal & gargantuan genitals was simply too much for Texas to bear—the lonestar state broke off and sank to the bottom of the Gulf of Mexicoil early this morning…

Published by: Sampsonian & Ron-Yves

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27 responses to “Your Tight Weather Fork-Ass—Thank Us After The Storm…

  1. Damn, Texas really got violently tea-bagged by Chuck Norris. They had it coming. Plus, one of my ex-boyfriends lives there, and he really had it coming, so all in all, great forkass.

  2. I just realized that Lake Michigan looks like my wang.

  3. Your weather forecast is so freakishly accurate I would almost call you a psychic, except that I actually live in an advanced timezone, meaning in my case your forecast is more of an aftercast, but still, I did give someone the finger in my morning traffic commute. I also called them a dickhead. Partly because I am just an angry person, and partly because they went around a roundabout, the wrong way, in a truck.

  4. wow…. this is definately a very intriguing insight into your psyche today boys…

    this is definately a boy post

    hehe

    i couldnt relate… especially since I dont have a cock..i dont have thunder thighs and my breasts are just heavenly…:P

  5. There is no crying in weather reporting. Not if Chuck Fucking Norris has anything to say about it. And we all know that Chuck talks with his fists. Well, his fists and his nuts.

  6. Awesome weather – & rats race forecast again. Normally you would be right in my case: I don’t like Mondays and they hate my guts too. But this week I only start on Wednesday, so I can still watch traffic jams with a sense of detachment and sarcasm.
    (For some reason I can’t see the second picture.)

    • Thanks Gruff—I asked a few peeps and everyone can see itp…maybe Norris just didn’t want to be seen at the time—it happens…

      Try again 🙂

      Thanks Gruff—enjoy your mini-vaca!

      • No problem, it’s as you said, Chuck Norris eluding my sight to make a point. I have confirmation because he suddenly appeared in this Pulp Fiction movie poster that I have on my living room wall. He just knocked out Bruce Willis, and is currently holding John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson in a headlock. Uma Thurman seems impressed.

      • You never know where he’s popping up—I once saw him at a grocery store breaking boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch over his forehead…

        I watched in amazement…

  7. I’m not liking those odds of me crying in the tub.

  8. I just noticed the sun is wearing a condom hat filled with poop.

  9. 85% chance of crying in the bathtub is right. I was looking for my toaster to join me for a soak but ran out of outlets.

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