Bull-Sh*ts Of Summer

The summer season can be loaded high & deep with bull-shit if you’re not careful.  We invite you to add to our growing list at your leisure…

Share your Summer-B.S. with the others…

1.) Sleeveless shirts on a man.

2.) People who combine expensive car stereo systems with an unbelievably shitty taste in music…

3.) Dairy Queen (The jig is up—that place flat-out sucks)

4.) Getting the hell scared outta’ ya by some dink on an unnecessarily loud motorcycle—The girl on the back looks like Braveheart with c-cups…

5.) It’s the first time you’ve a had a girl up to your apartment in 7-months and the air-conditioner breaks…

6.) Sweating 10-minutes after exiting the damn shower…

7.) Trying to ride a bike on a humid day with jean-shorts on…

8.) Watching your neighbor’s dog shit on your lawn while you eat your breakfast…

9.) When somebody else’s kid hits you square in the nuts during a backyard game of wiffle-ball…

10.) When you poison the whole cookout with your lack of expertise in charcoal grilling…

11.) When your favorite meal slips through the cracks of your 1980’s Webber…

12.) When you buy 5 pounds of steak tips and no one shows up…even the dog cancels on ya!

13.) You jump off the diving board, some dick moves the tire tube on you and your forehead kisses valve-stem…

14.) When you’re drunk, camping—and the puke doesn’t make it outside the tent…and yes, you sleep in it…

15.) When your drunk buddy awkwardly reaches for his beer in the canoe, deep sixing himself, you, and all your belongings…

16.) When some ass you work with slaps you on the worst sun burn in history—and says, “How was your weekend?”

17.) Jeep owners that wave at each other—comradery can be so gay at times

18.) When your niece breaks her collarbone using the slip-n-slide that you weren’t even supposed to bring to the BBQ in the first place…

19.) Jaywalkers that don’t run—Inconsiderate heathens

20.) When a mosquito flies in your ear and you compound matters by sticking your finger in there—pushing the thing 4-inches into your head…

21.) When somebody thinks it funny to substitute water for piss in the water balloons…

22.) When its 90 degrees, humid, and you step in someone’s bubbalicious …

23.) When you step in horse shit at the Deerfield fair…

24.) When your car breaks on the way to six flags and no one in the car has AAA…

25.) When you pay 50 bucks for a  meal at the theme park that should cost $20 — of course the kids throw 1/2 of it away too…

26.) When little Jimmy projects a flaming marshmallow right at your crotch from across the campfire…

27.) When you go to the beach to check out the ladies—and all you find is 2-legged tunas everywhere…

28.) When the fat guy next to you at the ball game is sweating more than Ron Jeremy performing a money shot…

29.) When your neighborhood is the last stop for the ice cream man—all that’s left is snow cones? REALLY!?…

30.) When you’re cutting the grass and your blades mysteriously locate “Plymouth Rock”…

31.) Sprinting the 500-yards to catch the ice-cream truck before he pulls away—and then realizing that he actually stays parked there all day…

32.) Having the rope swing snap on your descent forcing you to consume mother earth…

33.) When you go fishing and the only thing caught is your left ear on your buddy’s treble hook…

34.) When the price of gas mysteriously goes up by 20 cents because its warm out…

35.) Cyclists that think there body is a registered vehicle—get the hell outta the way…

35a.) Cyclists in general—because spandex (on a guy) shouldn’t be legal…

36.) Getting struck by lightning…

37.) When it’s so damn humid out that powdering the balls only induces pancake batter down there…

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2 responses to “Bull-Sh*ts Of Summer

  1. Hahaha! You nailed it one every one of these. 🙂 I can’t think of anything else to add to the list.

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