Category Archives: Science

Take A Load Off…

Life can be hectic and quite stressful at times.  As an adult male, you have to deal with such things and just roll with the punches.  For me, as a way to deal with the stresses of life, sometimes I like to just sit down and—take a pee…

Apparently, I’m not alone in the world with this destressing endeavor.  According to this article, a whole bunch of Japanese men prefer to do the same thing.  I take great comfort in knowing some of the people who designed the Mazda that I drive also sit down to pee—It’s a good way to bridge cultural gaps.

So to all of my fellow humans who bear the fleshy Florida-shaped appendage: When the going gets tough and the bladder is full—take a seat my brothers…let all of your cares disappear.

Published By: Dr. Max Yestronaut

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A Flower That Could Kick Your Ass…

Try pinning this bad-boy on your prom-date…

New Hampshire never ceases to amaze me—OK, maybe that’s a lie.  This place is actually starting to bore the Hell out of me but that’s irrelevant at the moment…Just look at this flower please—it’s called a titan arum, otherwise known as the Corpse Flower…

It’s called a Corpse Flower because not only will it beat you to death if it overhears you talking shit about it—but it also emits a fragrance reminiscent of a decomposing mammal—lovely

The flower in this picture, which stands at 10-feet, 300-pounds—is growing in someone’s private greenhouse here in New Hampshire…Despite several offers to go play Division-1 college basketball in the fall, the flower has announced (via Twitter) it’s decision to remain here in it’s Granite State greenhouse…

The flower’s owner hopes his stinky beast will join Barnstead, NH’s Little Einstein (World’s Smallest Horse) in the next Guinness Book of World Records…

🙂

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30,000-Kronor Get’s Ya’ A Bigger Boner…?

One of my ex-girlfriends...

I am Inga from Sveeeeden…

30,000-Kronor equals about $3,700—That’s what one Swedish gentleman recently ponied-up to get a little work done on his Swedish dong.  The man’s original plan was to add some girth to ‘the little viking’—but at the last second he changed his mind and explained to the surgeon that he wanted to make his wiener longer instead (the dude clearly hates his wiener)…When the dust settled, his genitalia was neither longer, wider, bilingual or in any way more appealing to women…The surgeon who worked on the penis has since refused to perform any sort of corrective surgery, consequently the victim is filing a report to Sweden’s Medical Responsibility Board…

I’m half Irish—so according to stereotype, I have a small thingy…It gets tricky in my case though because I’m also part Polish—which means I don’t even know how to properly use a ruler…Who the Hell knows…?

…the weenie-widening procedure is obviously a frightening ordeal.  Sheets of cadaver-skin are more or less ‘wrapped around the clown’ until the desired effect is created—So regardless of my personal situation, there is no way I’d let anyone roll up a dead person’s skin around Mr. Swiss-Roll just so I can start pushing the envelope in bed…

For the second time in as many weeks, I’m glad I’m not having surgery in Sweden

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Apple’s newest iSuck

Although Apple has the stronghold on the mp3 and cell phone market with the iPhone, don’t you think their technology is a tad on the overrated and over priced side?  Their new iPad is a giant iPhone that costs just as much as this laptop I’m using. To my knowledge, you can’t add that many cool accessories or install solid apps like a photoshop. Which is what I created this pointless pic with in 2 seconds.  Screw you Apple. Your shiz isn’t THAT good.

Eagle webcam eh? Kinky…

I feel weird looking at an eagle through a webcam.  The rarity of an actual eagle sighting makes me feel like using a webcam is just a sheepish form of cheating.  Also, I keep finding myself waiting for the eagle to play with itself or something.  I guess some webcams are just different than other ones…

What?  I’m just saying…

(Click the eagle picture to check out the nest-cam, via the cbc.ca website)

-s

Aside

“Nadya Suleman has Angelina Jolie’s eyes, the Joker’s mouth and the reproductive prowess of a Bernese Mountain dog…” -Unknown I apologize but it’s the truth—one look at Nadya Suleman (Octomother) and my stomach turns a tad rickety.  I’ve been trying … Continue reading

Nessie, show us your boobs…

(via The Christian Science Monitor’s article)

Newly published documents reveal that a Scottish police official in the 1930s believed ‘beyond doubt’ that the Loch Ness monster existed.

Really?  I’m calling ‘bull-shat’ on this one…

Lochness Monster? Log? Dead hooker in the Charles River?

I think the notion of a Scottish police official in the 1930’s is a myth in and of itself…and even if this guy really was a cop, why should we trust him?  The last time I heard of a cop that was sure ‘beyond doubt’ that he saw something, a black dude ended up getting shot while reaching for a Nutrageous candy bar.

Not to mention the fact that if you were a cop near Loch Ness 80 years ago, your day would only consist of rolling out of bed next to a handsome woman named Grizel, throwing on a plaid skirt, fixing yourself a drink and heading to the golf course.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been hammered on the golf course many times myself and I know that things can get strange—one time, while looking for a ball along the edge of a small pond, I was certain that I saw Abe Vigoda emerge from the water for a brief moment.

I’m not going to lie folks, I want more than anything to believe that this beast they call ‘Nessie’ is ripping around that lake over there just like one of those old Juicy Fruit commercials but the fact remains—the irrefutable evidence we’ve been waiting for simply hasn’t arrived.

-s