Tag Archives: Celebrities

Your Tight Weather Fork-Ass—Thank Us After The Storm…

Dust off the leather umbrella and slap some Turtle-Wax on your shit-kickers—Monday awaits…

*Note: We neglected to include any information pertaining to the barometric pressure in your hometown because, let’s face it—nobody gives a shit about the barometric pressure in your hometown…

The ADHD Chuck Norris Radar Run-Down: As you can see, ADHD Chuck Norris is still distracted by the Great Lakes, therefore he has yet to relay us any real information which relates to the radar images…We apologize for the inconvenience…

*Note: The stress of being located directly under Chuck’s lethal & gargantuan genitals was simply too much for Texas to bear—the lonestar state broke off and sank to the bottom of the Gulf of Mexicoil early this morning…

Published by: Sampsonian & Ron-Yves

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Limerick—6/25/2010 There once was a lady named Kate Her vagina could hold up to 8 With her husband long gone And the Botox gone wrong— Does this look like someone you’d date? I’m trying to find the right words to … Continue reading

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Kevin Costner is an awarding winning actor, successful philanderer and an intense environmental activist—Which was clearly evident in Field of Dreams when he slaughtered several acres of corn before using up oodles of gasoline while driving all over the damn … Continue reading

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Rumors are swirling that perennial Hollywood hunk Mel Gibson has been accused of having an affair on his Russian mistress with a Polish porn star…The Academy Award winning actor has aimed his Lethal Weapon on Eastern European women to be … Continue reading

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A couple of things catch my eye in this video, mainly Salma Hayek’s perfect face and daring center-parted hairdo.  I could listen to her say the word ‘karaoke’ all day long.  The other thing I noticed was Rachael Ray’s sandpaper … Continue reading

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Kirkland woman drops rape lawsuit against Copperfield (via the Seattle Times article—click click) So Lacey Carroll thought she could extort money from David Copperfield eh?  Nice try Lacey.  Come on now, you can’t outsmart a guy who’s got millions in … Continue reading

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Matchbox 20 can never amount to even the most average music of my parent’s generation.  The music of the late 60’s up until about 1975 was friggan nuts. I can proudly say that my parents were a part of the … Continue reading